Jim’s #17: Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

When Ally and I got married, we were given two hard-cover copies of this book, an audio version, and countless suggested references.  I was a little hesitant to read something on marriage that was so main-stream, but I finally brought myself to do it.  I’m glad I did.  I read John Piper’s This Momentary Marriage a few weeks ago and found that these two books together create a great mix of pragmatism in one’s marriage with the biblical framework for where it all came from.

I think that Dr. Eggerichs puts into words what I’ve always wondered about myself.  I knew that there were certain things that Ally said or did that got me excited and other instances that discouraged me though i had no idea why.  This book walked me through those and allowed me to see what was going on inside me a little better.  Hopefully in a way that I will now be able to voice when the time comes.

The book also showed me how I can love my wife better than I am and revealed plenty of ways that I have been unloving to her in the past without knowing it.  Unfortunately, she’s gone while I’m reading this so I’m not able to practice on her right here and now, but I look forward to trying it all out in 6 weeks.  Another thing I gained from this book is a greater appreciation for my wife.  I noticed that there were a lot of things she does for me that don’t necessarily come naturally to her; she just does them out of respect for me. I’m a very lucky guy.

Like I said, I really enjoyed this book, and I think it would be best when coupled with something like Piper’s book or Kostenburger’s “God, Marriage and Family”, something a little more scripture heavy.  I was pleasantly surprised with the practical impact of this book and even impressed at how much scripture he does use in enforcing his points.  I know that his work is saving marriages the world over, and that is a wonderful thing.

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