Drew’s #18 — Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

 

Whatever; future posts will show that I’ve read worse…  Besides, it was better than The Scarlet Letter!  Anyhoo, coming to a $4.99 DVD bin near you shortly, the epic yet little known exploits of America’s 16th president into vampire extermination.  This book asserts that slavery was the endeavor of vampires to keep a ready and stable supply of human feed at their disposal.  Somehow, all these blood sucking tyrants were based in the rural south prior to the civil war (not the aristocratic, industrially dominated, northern united states with it’s endless supply of migrant workers–who would later become conscripts) and this is why America went to war against herself in the early 1860’s.  Not an entire waste of time, there are some amusing parts such as when Abraham Lincoln, convinced by Gen. McClellan’s ineptitude in the early part of the War Between the States is evidence he is in league with vampire conspiracy, accuses him of being a vampire and demands “show me your fangs!”.  Classic.  The book is peppered with such incidents and is amusing in parts.  These run alongside several violent encounters as the early president hacks his way through the vampire ranks.  All these anecdotes, however, get drowned out in the rambling narrative that tries to tie them all together.  Basically, you get sporadic moments of humor or violence that punctuate an otherwise dry, abysmally researched attempt at satire.  It could be worse–you could wasted and equal amount of your life reading Hawthorne…

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